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Once, on the school bus, the driver threatened to drive us to Toronto if we didn’t pipe down. On car rides, I would keep a sharp eye on the gas gauge, and once it hit a quarter-tank, I would begin pleading with whichever parent was driving to gas up before we became stranded. Not only in terms of how other people do things, but how other people say things: What kind of lingo goes on over there?” They might have their own values reinforced, or there might be opportunities to see how things are done elsewhere, which might form the basis for discussion in their own homes about how something could be different … And it can add to a person’s appreciation for diversity. Bukowski, a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal (where I also study), confirmed my suspicion that a rush of new social air can have real benefits for kids: “Children can use these opportunities to make a comparison point - to see the strengths and the weaknesses of their own families. But I know that family life was never meant to be so self-contained.ĭr. This isn’t because I “suck” or whatever - I am confident in my ability to raise my children, don’t worry about me. I believe other people have the ability to make my kids cooler and happier than they will be if left solely in my care. I was never meant to be the boss of a household, and I resent the disaster-capitalist reification of boss-parenthood that has become parents’ strategy for coping with zero paid leave and zero subsidized child care. For those of us with kids who are vaccinated, like me, the need is urgent. If your kids are under five, this advice might not land for you. Is it COVID safe? That’s for you to judge. It’s time to let some new freaks in, let them tell the kids to pick their socks up off the floor. And I, likewise, have missed two prime years of looking after my friends’ kids. My family has been relatively lucky in how the pandemic has impacted us, but I mourn the passing of two prime years during which other adults could have been hanging out with my kids. Air that shit out.įor me, this means passing my kids and their friends back and forth among houses. In other words, the family unit, at this point in history, is in desperate need of oxygenation. The physiological and sensory condition of an ingrown toenail. A panoptic prison, where the guards are the kids. An overheating greenhouse, where the plants are starting to yellow and die. Sous-vide cooking, where we’re all contained within a vacuum-sealed pouch submerged in boiling water. Many vivid analogies might attempt to describe what deep-pandemic family life was like. Photo-Illustration: by The Cut Photos: Getty Images